"THE BETTER PART OF ONE'S LIFE CONSISTS OF HIS FRIENDSHIPS"

Land of Lincoln

A coming of age story set in the Midwest of today; a young college freshman’s only friend is his town’s most famous of yesterday: Abraham Lincoln. When Thomas’s almighty fortress of Mr. Lincoln - who only appears when Thomas is in his most vulnerable state, i.e., in bathrooms - starts to show signs of ware and tare, Thomas must decide whether to accept change or go down in history in this comedy feature.

Springfield, Illinois

The former home of Mr. Lincoln and current home of our main character, Thomas. The capital city may or may not have peaked in 1860, but they both still love it deeply.

  • Just starting his second semester in college - Thomas is confident, talented, and unbeknownst to him: suffering from intense colitis.

    The best sax player at his Lutheran Church, beloved by his 70 year old peers, and on his way to missing all of it based off of how much time he spends in the bathroom. Anytime he’s close to moving on in life, his “bestie presie,” Mr. Lincoln is there to distract with a friendly aphorism or literal gaslighting. But who can blame them though? Everyone Mr. Lincoln knows is dead and Thomas really likes Shakespeare.

    When an unexpected death shocks Thomas back into what life could be outside the bathroom, he must finally attempt the scariest part of any new chapter: meet new people of aren’t dead presidents!

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL MY PARENTS THAT AFTER YOU EAT, YOU POOP? THAT’S JUST SCIENCE."

It’s about time we start talking about what happens behind stall doors. This script hopes to do just that: normalize bathroom talk. The gut to brain connection is real people. WAKE UP! Also, loving your hometown doesn’t mean you have to love every part of it. Questioning what makes things great is what keeps us all moving forward. :)

  • This version of Lincoln may or may not be Thomas’s upset stomach manifesting itself as a melancholy bestie, but he’s still just as eloquent as the real one. He’s also even more depressed and manipulative than the real one; whatever this Lincoln has to do to keep his only friend in this century from leaving him just like everyone always does.

To request a full copy of the screenplay see Contact Page